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Many
times in life we know exactly what we should do, but a variety of
obstacles derail us and keep us from accomplishing it. In this
section we examine some of the mental traps that send us reeling off
the tracks, and introduce a process for you to get control of your mind
and help you reach the destination defined in your life plan.
Often
people harbor irrational beliefs that they have developed over a
lifetime that ignore the positive and exaggerate the negative. Their
inner voice may say:
- "Why does everything bad always happen to me?"
- "If I just ignore this obligation, maybe it will go away."
- "There's no sense applying for that good job, I'll never get it."
- "I'll never get over having been abused by my parents. Life is so unfair."
- "I'll never find my perfect mate."
One
of the most practical and successful techniques in helping people deal
with personal and family problems is called Rational Emotive Behavior
Therapy (REBT), the lifelong contribution of psychologist Albert Ellis.
At
the core of REBT is the A-B-C theory of emotional functioning.
The A stands for the activating event or adversity a person faces –
some type of challenging life situation. B stands for beliefs,
especially the irrational, self-defeating beliefs that may have been
ingrained since childhood, that are the actual sources of our
unhappiness. C stands for consequences, the neurotic symptoms and
negative emotions that come from our beliefs. |
